I had a dream about a world post apocalypse or something. I saw a long house with multiple rooms and bathrooms. But around 20-25 people were inside this one room. every day before the sun sets, everyone comes back to that single room and locks themselves up. the room door had grils and multiple locks, the walls were thick and unbreakable. that room is long like a huge hall, with kitchen and food storage etc. so all are fed and as the night starts we switch off lights and go to sleep. I was a new member so I asked the fellow members there why we need to lock ourselves and stay in dark, he showed me a house not so far away and said monsters live there and they are fast. every night they wake up and chase, kill and eat people that are outside. so everyone goes to work in the day and reach that room 1 hr before sunset to wash up(hence multiple baths),eat and sleep the moment sun sets. I saw my ex bf (I saw that we were in relationship, in real life we broke up long back and still in touch) join us after I joined the survivors. Everything was fine, I even saw one of the monsters waking up at dawn looking creepily towards our room. we lost one or two members to them. My ex bf was clueless since he never saw it happened and told me all these are just stories. one day he went for work and got late. we had a pregnant lady in room, she gave birth and I was in charge of washing her labor clothes, it had blood and uterine water. i went to one bathroom and kept the bucket with those clothes to wash. suddenly i realized its going to be sunset soon and my ex has not been back to room and many others are out too. I saw my room mate refer to them as tourists. Then I saw my ex on call talking to someone and screaming(we were told not to talk loud late evening and wake the monsters) I can see the monsters wake and go crazy with the scent of pregnant ladies bloody clothes and the sound of my ex. I kept running towards him, waving for him to run towards me, so we can get inside the room asap. but he kept ignoring my waving and signaling. I kept running cz i can see a monster running fast towards the tourists and my ex. In my mind I was thinking, he never listens to me, he's ignoring me when I'm trying to save him putting my life in danger. I reach him, point to the monster that's running towards us and hold his hands, making him run with me. we kept running when I can see through my side eye that the monster is killing the tourists, we do cross the bathroom where i kept the bloody clothes but Before we reach the room I woke up from my dream, with a disappointed heart at my bf not listening to me ever, and rapid heartbeats that the monster might have caught us. In real life I have been getting mixed signals from my ex. He cheated on me at the most vulnerable time of my life personally when i lost my father. But I am too attached to him. He blamed me for him cheating on me. We kept in touch, i guess I am too afraid to let go cz I became emotionally very dependent on him. So we kept in touch, from time to time he gives me signals that he want to get back together, but he says he doesnt. yesterday he called me saying there is a vipassana retreat for 7 days thats happening in a place, so he and his dad are going to join. he told me to apply too so it can help me heal my depression, social anxiety and fearfulness. we were in relationship for 7 years before he cheated, i almost begged him to intro me to his parents. he never did. but the girl he cheated me with, he introduced her to his father within a year. We both didnt know about each other, when she found out, she left him and got married. after that one day he came to meet me after long time of no contact. He looked pale, lost a lot of weight so I decided to take care of him. Cz when my mum was sick he took care of her before. I guess I stayed initially maybe cz I liked to see him suffer as a revenge. But then I felt bad for him, even when he spoke to me about how great she is and how bad I am, I stayed. Maybe cz i was scared to let go and be alone. I don't know. Its been 4 years and Im still in touch, sometimes even trying to get him back where he'd tell me he does not want me but also we would go out, he would come and stay with me, hug me while we sleep etc.This time he told me he's leaving from my life and moving on in March. But his dad came and since his dad came, I feel he's trying to get me to meet his dad. Like he's asking if I want to come to this place with him and his dad etc. Now this retreat also, he and his dad will be there. The retreat was exclusive and not everyone can get selected for it. Never in my life I was selected for anything at first try. But the moment I applied, they called me back within 5 mins and i got the last seat. But since I had the dream I feel like God is also sending me mixed signals. I felt like they're trying to tell me, going to this is a bad idea. but also got selected for it immediately which never happened to me like ever. I don't know what to do now.
Your dream is a vivid tapestry woven with elements from your real life experiences, emotions, and anxiety about your relationship with your ex-boyfriend. Here's a breakdown of the key symbols and what they might represent in your subconscious mind:
Post-Apocalyptic World: This setting reflects feelings of chaos and existential threat in your life, perhaps mirroring the turmoil you feel internally. You might feel exposed, vulnerable, and like you are constantly on the edge of some disaster.
The Secure Room: This can symbolize safety and refuge, the part of you that seeks security and protection from external threats. The need to lock yourselves in can reflect a sense of insecurity in the outside world or your external circumstances.
The Monsters: These creatures represent external threats and fears. Specifically, they might symbolize your fears about your relationship or the emotional pain from your past with your ex, causing you to feel constantly on alert.
The Pregnant Lady and Her Birth: This could symbolize new beginnings or the gestation of something significant in your life. It may represent your hopes for new developments, but the blood-stained clothes show the potential danger and peril accompanying these changes.
Your Ex’s Ignorance to Danger: His refusal to listen to your warnings may symbolize your emotional disconnect in real life. It illustrates your struggle with trying to guide or save him emotionally, yet feeling disregarded or undervalued.
The Tourists: These people could represent transient relationships or parts of yourself that you feel are temporary or not deeply rooted. It could reflect how you see people, including your ex, going through phases in your life.
Chase and Fear of Capture: This reflects your anxiety and fear of being emotionally 'caught' or overwhelmed by your feelings or circumstances beyond your control. It might tie into the feelings of confusion about your relationship status with your ex.
The Immediate Danger: Your fear of the monsters catching up with you might symbolize the fear of your past haunting or catching up with your present, particularly in relationships.
In terms of your real-life relationship, it seems that your dream reflects the mixed signals and emotional turmoil you are experiencing. The dream could be highlighting your attachment and emotional dependence on your ex while also pointing out the persistent fears and insecurities caused by his past actions and current mixed messages.
As for the retreat with your ex and his father, the swift acceptance might be your subconscious picking up on an opportunity for change or healing, yet the dream highlights the hesitation and possible pitfalls you fear. The retreat could be seen as a chance for personal growth and a way to address your emotional dependency and fearfulness, but your dream shows the anxiety of repeating past mistakes or being further entangled in a confusing emotional situation.
It might be beneficial for you to engage in self-reflection, perhaps through journaling or talking to a counselor, to further discern your feelings and the best path forward. The dream emphasizes the need for clarity and safety, perhaps hinting at the importance of setting boundaries with your ex while focusing on your own healing journey.